My Blog

1. If you have nothing better to do, watch a movie, sing a song, go shopping or go shit. Never try to write something just to entertain yourself. Similiarly, people go elsewhere to get themselves entertained. Therefore, if you decide to write something, inspire. Do not be a clown.

2. The world has enough bad news to start with. 99% of the main paper are bad news. Suicide bombers. Increasing temperature. Declining service quality. Do humans a favour. If you have to write something, make sure it’s for the good of mankind. Stop terrorising the world with your stories and stressing everyone when they do not even know you in the first place.

3. Be responsible for your words. What you pen down is in black and white. And can transmit to the other end of the world faster than you think. Do not be alarmed if you see a pig head at your door in the morning. 

4. If you are really talented, go write a fiction book, and get a book published. At least you earn something for you talent, or get a literature prize. At least people know what you are writing, are they true (biography?) or not (fiction, sci fic, fantasy?). Save people the trouble of guessing half the time what you claim is true.

5. If you really need privacy, invest in a nice diary. Burn it, bury it or give it to someone you trust when you die. It’s useless to have an ID to sign in to read if it is meant to be a diary. Stop making your loyal readers wait for your return when you decide never to write again.

6. Be realistic. People only are interested in your life because it is full of bad news. Or if you are lucky, your stories are super inspiring. No one wants to read if you marry and live happily ever after.

7. If you need friends, go out and meet them. Only people with no friends hide in their room to type the whole day, and only people who read everyday have no social life.

For your information, I do not type everyday and I do not terrorise the world with my stories. I write because I feel there is a need to, and I have friends who got inspired by what I wrote. I have plans to publish a book - just have not decided if it should be facts or fantasy.

Many magazines have this "Understand what girls mean when they say this" page once in a while

I say stop reading those and start understanding me.

I say: "That’s nice"

- I mean it’s even better if I have it

I say: "I hate you"

- I mean I am VERY angry, I am gonna have a heart attack, you better apologize and I am not gonna compromise

I say: “It’s ok lah”

- I mean you better be zi dong and do something

I say: “What the Fuck”

- I mean lucky I do not have a stick with me, if you your head’s gonna roll

I say: “You look pretty handsome”

- I mean I will rape you tonight

I say: “Sorry”

- I mean good, I manage to shut you up

I say: “I just want to say ‘sorry’ ”

- I mean I am really sorry

I say: “Up to you”

- I mean you better make a good choice and do not change your mind

I say: “Shall I buy it?”

- I mean do not comment anything and I can make my own decision

I say: “I need to be alone”

- I mean I am upset and you have done something wrong

I say: “Can I talk to you?”

- I mean I have a problem with you, and I have tried to think it over, but I feel you are still making me upset

Thank you for your understanding.

I was asking my Boss if he has any good news for me as he is out of town. He told me that everyday finding yourself waking alive is good news.

Good news, i love them - that person that you infatuated for so long finally asked you out, and bought you a tulip. The Starbucks Coffee Jelly is finally back. My debtors finally send me my cheque. You finally finish reading "Marketing Genius". You won the 1 million lottery. Your boss agrees to your "passive income" request. You managed to buy a Chinchilla. You get your hands on a one carat diamond. Your doctor apologised of a mis-diagnosis. There is still one Kinder Bueno in the fridge!

Bad news, it’s just part of life - breakups. Your dog died. Your hamster escaped. You lost your wallet - and your keys. Your cue warped. Your reward card with 2000 points expired yesterday. Sizzler is under renovation. You got a bf that refuse to apologise. Your maid soiled your favourite dress. Your FYP report contracted virus and there is no backup. Your house caught fire.

The Ugly - Your found a limited edition chocolate condom wrapper torn in your bf’s wallet, and you guys only use Extra Safe. Your bf’s ex stills stalks him. Your colleugue told everyone she saw you kissing the Boss. Your lover calls out another girl’s name while on the bed with you. You found out you are not the only one missing your bf.

Come on.. celebrate. At least there is still a good news everyday isnt it?

This back by popular request by Jason.

A bus stop bill board for Singapore Prison recruitment drive read as headline “True Courage comes from passion”
I thought, yeah true, really.

For a woman to love a man - passion
For a woman to understand a man - passion
For a woman to tolerate a man - passion
For a woman to forgive a man - passion
For a woman to decide living the rest of her life with him - passion

What have you done as a man to make your lady so passionate about you, that she still has the courage to live you and breathe you?

“Passion is what you have if you are willing to do it for free”