My Blog

There are 3 reasons why I wrote again. Firstly, someone told me I haven’t update my blog for quite some time. Secondly, I thought, yeah, now I know at least someone reads, and thirdly, I wanna write why I cried 3 times yesterday.

While I think the 3rd reason is more interesting, I shall tell you why and what happened.

The first time I cried in the morning was cos I had a quarell with Someone. I felt like a request from me was not properly addressed and I was scolded. But I felt better when Someone held my hand and took me for a walk. And Someone helped me choose my accessories for my Miss Sentiments competition (you are welcome to come at 12 Nov @ Millenia Walk 3 pm to see).

Then Someone brought me to the Esplanade cos Someone wanted to play piano for me. I went to the toilet and I passed by a shop selling movie collectables. I wanted to buy Someone something, cos Someone bought a Visionaries VCD to watch, and I thought Someone might be happy if I got Someone a little something. But there is nothing about Visionaries there. When I came back, it was Someone’s turn to go to the toilet. Someone took a pretty long time. When Someone came back, I was standing behind a short covered shelf of magazines. Someone placed something under the palm and gave something to me and placed it on the cupboard. Someone released his palm and revealed a Totoro magnet from the same Movie Collectables Shop. Someone knows I like Totoro. I felt like crying because we both think alike, wanting to make each other happy the same way but I failed.

So as we walked inside the piano room, I told Someone I wanted to get something but the shop doesn’t sell it. And I was in tears. But we sat back facing the people sitting the library and Someone played beautifully that a girl bent down and peer at us, many kids squatted down outside the glass door and stared at Someone like thinking "I am gonna be the greatest pianist in the world when I grow up". Someone played Because I am A Girl by Kiss, Il Postino, Scent of a Woman, LiberTango, MorroWind, Vincent, Somewhere out There, You’re Still You, Nespray Advert’s jingle, Prudentials’ Advert theme song, and other songs.

I had to attend a Birthday dinner for my grandfather, so I left Someone and went to the restaurant myself. I was talking to Someone II now. Someone II said if I went to look for a proper job, I would’nt have no money now. Btw, I left a proper job to be a proper entreprenuer. So I hope everyone can give me some proper encouragement instead of useless comments. So I was sad and Someone II commented that she only say a few words I have to be so upset. So I counldn’t control myself and I cried in front of everyone. I guessed many people might have seen me, shaking and sobbing so loudly, and thinking I might have broken up with Someone or wat. But what do I care when people cannot give proper respect for my determination and strength to be a proper entreprenuer. So i think I sobbed for more than half and hour, till I felt my fingers and eyes went numb (yar, everytime I cry when I am angry and sad, my body reacts this way), and then I just had to tell myself to cool it.

So this is the story of how I cried 3 times in a day. And oh, did i say I cried again at 1 am again cos I feel sad because I cried so much? Guess no one knows somebody is very sad in the middle of the dark and quiet house…

Saw an ‘ang mo’ lady sitting on the ledge of the Suntec overhead bridge linking Suntec to the Citylink. She was holding a half finished hot coffee from Starbuck, with a backpack and wearing long track pants and sandels. She sat back facing the walking crowd, looking over the construction site with a smile on her face.

I was wondering what was she doing..observing how interesting a construction site is constructed? Thinking abt her Blangadeshi bf? Missing home? Amused by the ‘cookies’ working for Singapore cos it’s the whites that work in construction in America?

And I tell you, I was bloody amused by her being amused by the scene at mid afternoon, and I just love the way she takes the time to observe one of the most ignored processes in life.. the process of how building made for men are built. So much goes into the observation, ignoring stares and giggles behind her back, appreciating one of the lowest paid workers in society work, and taking the courage to sit on the ledge of a bridge 3 storeys high.

Maybe we should learn to be more courageous, more appreciative and stopping to see how the little things people are paid little to do in our society can result in something big.